I'm a loser for liking another loser

U know what , I don't understand why u were the one who stopped talking first, u are the one who called ME a fucking lesion and when I told u to stop, even if it was a joke, u didn't. I had every fucking right to be mad at u, and u didn't even have the decency to apologize. I genuinely, in my stupid head, thought we were friends, in retrospect, that was extremely stupid of me. And what's even worst is, that all these years, I struggled to find someone I had genuine feelings for and stop feeling this sort of void and numbness, and out of everyone, it had to be you, why you. In my head, I knew, nothing would work, and it's completely one-sided, even though it was breaking me every single day, it obviously didn't help when we used to speak over the phone for hourse. Stupid of me to assume, maybe assume that u may feel something, even if it's a little something for me and it wasn't all in my head.
What broke me even more was that if u actually did, u wouldn't have called me a lesion, no one on this planet would call someone they like that. And it hurt me in ways I never thought it could. What was my final blow was finding out u had a girlfriend all this time. In the history of idiots and losers, I would definitely make the top of the list. And seeing her with u just made me feel like absolute shit, and what's even worse is that she's actually a nice person.
And u had to rub it on my face, u could have asked someone else to paint your face, I even asked u to do the same, but u had to make me do it. I felt like an absolute loser when I had to do a "couple face painting".
That was the absolute worst day of my life, no drugs or alcohol could help me feel better. And the entire time I'm thinking, u are completely unaware of all this, and I'm the only one pouring my heart out, and you will never know.

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anonymous Crushes April 15, 2026 at 1:06 pm 0 0